WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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