All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize