lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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