are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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