so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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