HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize