I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
