my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
