Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
