Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I believe in your delicious
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
