it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
