'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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