Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
