Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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