The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
