bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
