I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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