My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
