he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
