love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You can't special order awesome
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
