Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
