Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
