Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
