how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So here I am, sexting at work.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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