Christians are straight up FREAKS
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
