I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
