Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
