If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
