fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
