and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize