His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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