You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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