is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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