dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize