he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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