we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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