did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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