i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
