What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
