I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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