I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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