my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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