If that was your dad, he is hot
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
