yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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