I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i've created a new STD.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize