so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
