You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
