I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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