We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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