Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize