it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
