So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
