she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
