so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize