you win again, gameday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
