I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
