The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
