idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
