What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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