We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
