Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
