If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
wanna go halves on a baby?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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