YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize