Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
