You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
