three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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