ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
