my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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