I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
