help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
