She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
