i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
